40 days

Annoyed? No, I'm just f"&king rabid at the moment. "Oh yes" they said "Have a job with us" they said. Oh really matey boy? Just what they forgot to mention is that the fourth bridge will take less time to paint then I will have to wait to start either sodding job.

I have already gone through the CRB check and how that is stopping everything. Now though, there is another spanner in the works. Induction. I have no idea what I am supposed to cover, and frankly hope it better be worth my time as opposed to a day being told something which anybody who has worked on any ward in any hospital already knows. So, where are we up to:
"Hospital B":- After taking 3 weeks to arrive, the letter confirming my tempory post, CRB check and occupational health decleration have been sent off-on the first postal day mark you. Undoubtedly, they too will want to have their own CRB check as opposed to the recent St John Ambulance CRB check which arrived a few days ago. I cannot fathom out why they are so obsessed with a CRB with their own name on the top when a check arrived a week ago that is just as good. Their argument? "They are only valid on the day they were printed". Nice, but I am pained to point out it took 7 days for the St John Ambulance CRB to arrive (more of laying into St John Ambulance later in this post). A small point is that when a CRB check comes to my house, the body requesting the check actually gets the check 24 hours later...or 48 hours after the valid period. Can you see the flaw in their reasoning? Yup, the CRB with their name on is, using their own criteria, invalid. I have a uniform on order, though am not going to collect it until I have reason to believe that they can give me a start date before the other hospital. In addition, they sent me a letter stating to attend trust induction... on the 2nd June! If that is how long they are going to take, then they are definatly dead in the water.

Hospital A on the other hand were phoned by me on Tuesday. I have not heared anything from them so wanted to check see what was happening. As you may be aware, the CRB went in to them on the 5th March. The check can take 3-6 weeks. It is at [drum roll here]...stage ONE. Basically, it's arrived at the CRB building. Thats it. Now, what really annoys the hell out of me is that the CRB is a government body (it is subsumed from part of the Home Office). They also get paid for each CRB. So why is it then that it takes 6 weeks to effectivly search the CPS computer database which is like google search for criminals? Lets remember here a few other govenment bodies:
Job Centre Plus:-Department of Work and Pensions: 2 weeks to clain Job seekeres allowance.
DVLA- Department of Transport- How long do you think it will take them to contact you if you fail to tax or SORN a car when the tax is due? Proberbly 3 working days but not 6 bloody weeks thats for sure!
On the up side, they have said that I must attend induction...then one for me being [another drum role] 12th May. Yesterday, that was 40 days. Anyone recall Noah and his flood? 39 days from today. Jesus, in that time I could have seen a job advert, applied, been interviewed and put in 4 weeks notice and STILL have a day or too off. No wonder the NHS is in a staff crisis if this is how long Nurses have to wait. I mean, think here for a moment. I know "hospital B" are at screaming point with their Nurses. There is a real chance that I am going to turn down that job offer. Not only have they been short prior to my arrival, they have been short during these few weeks. If/when I turn down the job offer, they will be shorted for an even longer time as well. I know they my job there was to cover for maternity leave. The kid will be having its 10th birthday before I get on the ward at this rate.

Now, for St John. 3 weeks ago, I had my interview with the county Nursing officer. I was phoned up on Tuesday by another divisions superintendant who was wanting to know if I was free to work as a Nurse in an ambulance working out from a hospital in another county to where I live. I said yes to it. Only to find that county have no record of my Nursing registration. They think it is a bottleneck between my divisional superintendant (who has since assured me that paperwork is with NHQ and will chase it up) and county HQ. Aparrently the "checks" take time. What effing checks? You have my PIN number, go on the NMC website and use the employers checking service! What is it with me and paperwork? I have 39 days of this hell to endure!